She had a look about
her that was illegal in most
states; tall, blonde and sleazy. And she could do things
that there werenít even names for! In other words I
thought I was In
love....or was it lust? Sometimes itís so hard to
tell the difference.
She was waitressiní tables in an all night truck
stop by the interstate when I first met her. We flirted
with each other [I wasnít too awful ugly before I got old and
fat] as I had a late night breakfast, then I headed out to the
bike. From where it sat we could see each other through
the window and after I kicked it over I motioned for her to join
me....and damned if she didnít do just that! She took off
her apron, threw it down, yelled something to her boss and
apparently walked right off the job!
Her name was Tammy but I gave her the nickname
"Trouble" Ďcause I knew thatís just what sheíd be, and I was
That first night we rode Ďtil dawn, returning to
my place where we explored each otherís uh....minds. The
more we talked the more I liked what I heard. She seemed
to be the answer to everything I was lookiní for, and that alone
made me suspicious.
That weekend passed in a haze and Monday
afternoon as I got ready to go to work I thought, íThis is gonna
be cool to come home to. Been a while since I had a house
mouse.í "I should be home shortly after mid-night tonight,
you wild thing! If ya have any problems call me at this
number!" I yelled to her as I scribbled down my work number,
grabbed my things and walked out the door whistlinĎ.
All night as I worked I
kept thinking of her.
Shortly before my regular shift was over my boss told me
that it was mandatory that I work overtime two hours. I
called Tammy, but it just rang and rang. Figuring she was
in the shower I just expanded my train of thought. ĎCould
this be the one? My soul mate? Is this gonna make up
for all the nights spent prowling bars only to be disappointed
by the sad, baggage burdened souls I found there?í
time I was finished for the night I had convinced myself that
this woman was a jewel. She was a flawless gemstone put on
earth for the Bummerís pleasure and sustenance. I so deserved
this. Never again would I be alone! Sheíd soothe my aching
heart and soul with gentle tenderness. I mean, she gave up her
career just to be with me!! Hell, the woman was into beiní
handcuffed!! We even both drank Yukon! What more does a
hurried home and turned the bike onto my road I could see
flashing lights in the distance. "Huh," I said to myself,
"Looks like the neighbors have a problem. Wait! Theyíre at MY
house!! What the %$#&??!!!!"
into my front yard and parked the scoot as I scanned the police
cruiser, ambulance and fire truck. The neighbors stood on their
front porch in night clothes staring as I hurried to the house.
Harry! Go get the bolt cutters behind the spare in the trunk
of the cruiser!" came from downstairs as I passed an officer
while entering. íBolt cutters?í I wondered as I hurried down
my house is a split level and downstairs to the left of my
living room is my bar. I used to manage a tavern a long time
ago so I had plenty of signs and lights. A friend installed a
plywood drum platform in the corner so the drummer in a band I
used to be in wouldnít slide all over the cement floor when we
practiced. When the band broke up I put a brass pole in the
center of the platform for obvious reasons. Crowded around the
brass pole was a few emergency techs, a cop, two firemen and a
naked former truck stop waitress.
IN THE HELL IS GOINí ON HERE?" I screamed in terror. It seemed
like all the emergency personnel of Newton Falls was on their
knees in my bar!
only looked at me in embarrassment as the cop asked, "Are you
"Yes?" I answered as a question.
thought you were gonna be home long ago! Iíve been cuffed to
this pole for hours!" cried
neighbors heard her screaming sir and called us. The ambulance
and fire personnel came just in case." said the cop with a smirk
as I ran to get a bathrobe for her......and a handcuff key.
they all left Tammy wrapped a warm, wet cloth around her wrists
and sat on the couch to explain.
was gonna surprise you." she started with a sob. "I waited Ďtil
it was almost midnight. Thatís when you said youíd be home!"
sorry but I had to work over! Why didnít you call when I didnĎt
show? I left ya my number!"
just looked at me like I was the DUMBEST person on earth.
the coming weeks I learned Tammyís story. She was raised in
Georgia and became a dancer in Atlanta. A drug bust sent her to
prison where she learned to scam lonely men into sending her
money and presents. Upon release she began waitressing in one
truck stop after another all over the country traveling the
interstate highway system. I use the word "waitress"
generously. My shining star began to lose some of her
shine! This woman had more baggage than a moving van!
I had lent her my car numerous times I learned that she didnít
have a driverís license.....it expired while she was in prison
and she never renewed it. One night in a bar I noticed that she
insisted on sitting so she could watch everyone who
entered. This was the night I learned that she had numerous
warrants for her arrest in various states for all kinds of
stuff. She was probably the most illegal person I ever met, and
Iíve known quite a few.
Iím sure youíll agree life isnít always fair. Some poor folks
just have bad luck and Iíve always prided myself on allowing for
this fact before I judge others. Unfortunately some people
become victims of their environment. Such was the case with
Tammy. Prison taught her to use people. The legal system taught
night as I entered the living room she was on the phone making
plans to go to Virginia. When she hung up she turned to me and
said, "I think I should be heading on honey. My kidís dad just
got a new job and wants to work things out."
íThatís right! I forgot to tell ya I had a daughter."
"Well, ya never asked."
of me was sad, but part of me was very relieved too. I think
itís safe to say that the "relationship" had run itís course in
those few weeks.
thing I can say about her though: She never took anything I
didnít want to give gladly, which is more than I can say about a
few of the other women Iíve known.
day I took her to the truck stop I tried to give her some money
but she wouldnít take it. "Bum, youíve been real good to me and
itís been fun. I have everything I need and my ex is gonna pick
me up here in a few hours. Like the old song says, letís just
kiss and say goodbye."
fired up the scoot and pulled away from the parking lot I
couldnít help but smile at the thought of her cuffed to that
pole. I hope things finally turned out well for her.