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Shootin’ the Breeze
by
Bummer
Email:
bummer@abate.com
I remember in the old day’s we used to do a toast that
went something like this: “Here’s to...Older whiskey,
Younger women, Faster motorcycles and More money!” The
weird thing is, none of that is true to what I really
want or believe nowadays.
Older whiskey? The only thing I drink is Yukon and
it was probably bottled last week! Though it’s described
as a whiskey, it’s really a liquor made in Canada. And who
really savors whiskey anyway? After a few drinks you could
probably fill anyone’s glass with watered down 50 weight
motor oil and they wouldn’t know the difference. NOBODY
really drinks for the taste of it for cryin’ out loud!
Younger women? As I said in last month’s column
I perfer mature women. Younguns are fun to look at,
but having a conversation with one usually goes something
like this: “So, what kind of music do ya wanta listen to
on this here jukebox sweetie pie?”
“Well, I’m into techno and rap, maybe some hard house
would be cool.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s hard house! I dunno, it’s kinda like techno
but it blends together I can’t dance to rock n’ roll!”
“What’s techno?”
“It’s like hard house but isn’t blended together.”
“Well, at least it has a melody, right?”
“What’s a melody?”
“You know...a tune that has notes that go up and
down...maybe has verses and a song structure to it, perhaps
a bridge. Musicians used to make ‘em with real musical
instruments they actually played.”
[Next Column]
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I don’t wanna go to Europe or to “The Islands”, Don’t
wanna even think about being a corporate go-getter. Don’t
wanna live in a mansion surrounded by people who work for me
24 hours a day.
When I see wealthy people flaunting what they own I’m
amused at their stupidity and selfishness. So many poor
folks are wonderin’ and worried about how they and their
families are gonna survive, and the wealthy pass their
days thinkin’ ‘bout how to make more money. For
what?
Even the concept of financial power is ludicrous ‘cause
there’s always gonna be someone with more money and more
power! That’s a pissin’ contest ya just can’t win my
friend.
My daddy once told me, “Never be proud of anything you
can buy, ‘cause if you bought it, any idiot could
have it too.” I know a lot of jerks ridin’
$20,000 motorcycles. You can be proud of what you think,
what you say, who you are and what you choose to represent,
but never of the stuff ya own, ‘cause in the end it’s
just that: stuff. And sooner or later it’s gonna belong to
someone else.
So anyway, I guess I need a new toast. How ‘bout this:
Here’s to...Better weather, Fresher blacktop, Cheaper gas
and Long legged hitch hikers [with their own handcuffs].
Y’all keep ‘em between the ditches,
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The above conversation actually happened one night when I
was trying to bridge the generation gap for a few seconds.
She actually said she couldn’t dance to rock n’ roll!
That’s when I realized that I was gettin’ old and kinda
happy ‘bout it. My music has something to say and takes me
places I like to go to. My father was a musician and enjoyed
what he was into, but at least when I showed him the stuff I
liked it was something that resembled music! And we could
always meet halfway with jazz...I wouldn’t even want to do
aerobics to the stuff I sometimes hear nowadays, [like I
would wanna do aerobics! What the hell am I sayin?] Anyways,
give me an old fashioned woman I can slow dance with
anytime.
Faster Motorcycles? Not me. I know a lot of ya out
there are into hot performance bikes, but I ride like an old
lady. Ask anyone who’s ridden with me and they’ll tell
ya, [except Deeter. His old chopper with that 21” over
front end get’s kinda weird over 55mph]. I’d rather
actually see the countryside as I cruise on down the road.
More money? I know yer not gonna believe this, but
I’m not really into money. I mean sure, if I had more
bucks I’d retire now rather than waiting a few years, but
I already have just about everyting I need. The great
American philosopher Johnny Carson once said that the
average person dreams of big bucks, but really only wants
what he needs to live a happy life without worrying about
bills....Well, thank God with my boys grown, I finally got
to the point where I don’t need lotsa money. I have my
friends and family, my bike and my thermos bottle. {from “The
Jerk”}.
Now.....what’s my point? Hell, I dunno. I guess it’s
just that when ya drop all the bull$#%*, all I need is a
bike, music, friends and the occasional woman in handcuffs.
Is that too much to ask? [Next Column] |
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