Shootin' the Breeze

by "Bummer"

bummer @ abate

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February 2015

        Let the good times roll!

    So, I’m in the casino of this huge Mississippi river boat, the kind with a big paddle wheel on the back and the fancy, twin, tall white, smokestacks, ya know? And I’m with a lady-friend who’s dressed like a saloon girl with a long, feather boa around her neck, a red and black brocade dress, plumes in her hair etc...ok? And we’re playing roulette. Every time the croupier (or whatever ya call him) spins the wheel, he calls out, “Laissez les bon temps rouler!” which is French/Cajon for: “Let the good times roll!”

    Then all of a sudden, a woman screams and points to the river outside! We all rush to the windows to see a giant, 100 foot tall, Stephen Colbert...suit, glasses, skinny tie and all...rising from the water with a huge jar of pistachio nuts in his hands, and everyone starts freaking-out except me, and I’m laughing my ass off while assuring my friend that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

   Then I wake up...........

    What the hell can this possibly mean?! I don’t even gamble!

    I dream (and recall dreaming) almost every night. I’ve read that we all have dreams, in fact supposedly it would be unhealthy not to. But usually we don’t remember them. In my case, even if I sleep for only a short time (sometimes for only a few minutes) I still have realistic, graphic dreams in such detail, and seem so real upon waking, that it takes a moment to know if it was dreaming or reality. And like most people, unless I write ‘em down, I usually soon forget the specifics. But last night’s riverboat ride was the exception. I can still remember the smell of my friend’s perfume!

    Just about everyone assumes that dreams can tell you something....something about yourself, your life and what you’re going through, about people and things you know of, or things you don’t even know about. Some folks even believe dreams can foretell the future, like for a lottery number or perhaps some kind of event.

    A woman named Jeanne Dixon said she dreamed all about the assassination of President Kennedy in detail, just prior to the occurrence. And a guy named Edgar Cayce used to dream (or see in trances) all kinds of stuff that came true all the time. There have been tons of books written about Cayce, in fact there’s even a research institute founded in his name. In his dreams (or trances) he even accurately medically diagnosed many people for complicated surgery, and he wasn’t a doctor! I mean the guy only had a ninth grade education! They called him the “Sleeping Prophet”.

    For those of you who don’t believe in “weird stuff”, it’s at least obvious that if nothing else dreams CAN tell you what’s going on in your subconscious if they’re properly understood. As for me, I just usually dream about stupid shit (which says a lot about my subconscious I guess). But I’ve often dreamed about friends and family who have passed away, which fortunately (for me) always ends in waking with pleasant thoughts....other than the fact that those people are gone and I miss ‘em. And in the dead of winter, I often dream of riding the scoot on country roads on a beautiful summer’s day.

    The reasoning behind that is a no-brainer. I also dream in color and sometimes with music, both of which they say are unusual.

    But I also often dream about being someplace where there are a lot of people (usually where I used to work) and suddenly I realize that I’m stark naked. Now, I don’t have many hang-ups about being nude, nor am I an exhibitionist. I have a hot-tub and an enclosed pool so I’m often walking around the house naked. But since I’ve become so large in the gut, the last thing I’d want is for strangers to see me that way.

    Obviously, if you have something stressful coming up that’s been on your mind, like nervousness about starting a new job the next day (or something like that), you might have a dream about that the night before. Or perhaps a dreaded doctor’s appointment could cause a dream (as in finding out the results of important lab tests). Twice during pregnancies my sons’ mother dreamed we were going to have a son (we waited for the surprise both times). And both times we had a son! (But I guess the odds on that are only 50/50.)

    I’ve also noticed that the “plots” of dreams that seem to cover long periods of time are often in reality only a few minutes in length. For instance: Once when I had slept for only a few minutes I had a dream that took place over the course of my entire lifetime (up to then) complete with aging. It seemed to take forever! I awoke very disturbed because there’s an old saying that your life flashes in front of you just before you die, and for a few hours I thought I was doomed! LOL!

    Thankfully, I rarely have nightmares. I have a few friends who have so many bad memories from war, or some other traumatic experiences, that those memories regularly spill over into their dreams. I’ve read that some WWII vets in their eighty’s still suffer this, and I know a retired professional firefighter who often re-visits a horrible incident that happened long ago in his dreams. For those of YOU who often suffer from this kind of thing, well I can only hope that you seek out help and some peace can be had because sleep is supposed to be all about rest...not pain.

   I know one of the worst things to do is to fall asleep with the TV on, though many of us do that all the time. Doctors write that the quality of your sleep is definitely affected by external stimulus while sleeping, and just because your eyes have the curtains drawn doesn’t mean your ears are switched off.

    Many people intentionally listen to recordings while they sleep that are created for that purpose. They say it aids learning a language or memorizing something. A singer in a band I was in told me that the secret to his remembering the lyrics of songs, was that he read ‘em over a few times just before going to sleep each night until he had ‘em down. But it goes without saying that falling asleep to a “slash and gore” movie would be counter-productive to happy dreams and restful sleep.

    When I was younger I could fall asleep anytime I wanted to. But these days, though I can will myself to sleep sometimes, other times it’s not so effortless unless I’m reading a book or watching a boring movie. Regarding that: Remember back when if you went to sleep with the tube on you woke to a steady, loud “shhhh” and a TV screen full of annoying “snow”? Nowadays ALL stations broadcast all night long to pick up some easy advertising bucks, so who knows what you’re exposed to in your sleep? I once woke-up in a near panic thinking that for some reason I just HAD to rush out and buy one of those crinkly, shrinking garden hoses, only to realize that’s what the infomercial on TV was about while I slept.

    Some folks fall asleep even when they’re in the middle of doing something important, like driving. Long-haul truckers often have this problem. I used to share driving with a co-worker for a long ride to work, until I woke to find the two of us parked on the side of the road and him sound asleep at the wheel. After a few of those I decided to always do the driving while that son of a female dog slept away (but at least he paid me for most of the gas after that.) And once out west on an interstate in Utah, I looked over to see a buddy I rode part of the way out there with starting to nod off on his scoot! Needless to say I carefully pulled my bike over close to his, managed to gently get his attention without freaking him out, and we both caught some seriously needed “Z’s” at the next rest-stop.

    Well, speaking of sleep I’m headed there now. To quote Stevie Nicks, “It’s late. We gotta git on home.” I’ll be yappin’ at ya next month.

                       Goodnight and sweet dreams everybody,

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