Shootin’ the Breeze
at work a guy entered the restroom the same time I did. As I entered a stall
and closed the door I heard him ask from the stall next to
fine!” I yelled back.
been happenin?” he asked.
up with this guy?’ I
never talked to him him before. “Not much!”
the Hell do ya think I’m up to?”
on a minute. Some
jerk in the stall next to me thinks I’m talkin’ to
ya just love technology?
I think I’m one of the few people in the world who
don’t have a cell phone.
I see people talkin’ on the damned things all the
time, and I do mean ALL the time! When they’re in
they work. When they drive...... Hell, I heard that when they first
put radios in cars, experts said they would be too
distracting to drivers!
What would those same experts think about somebody
fighting with their old man/lady over the phone while they
try to negotiate traffic?
is America. For
an emergency there’s a phone within 100 yards of ya wherever you
are, unless yer in Wyoming or Montana!
don’t get me wrong: I can think of plenty of times a cell
phone would be necessary or come in handy. But should ya be on
the phone when yer goin’ to the bathroom?? I mean, come on! And you all
do it! Ya know
ya do! I’ve
heard a flush or two while I was talkin’ to people on the
phone and felt like I should hide my eyes!
thing more annoying than people using cell phones all the
time are those of you who leave your phones in my couch. I’d be reading a
book or listenin’ to music when all of a sudden I start
hearin’ a weird little jingle, then I have to tear the
couch apart to find the source. I always catch the
little suckers just as whoever calls hangs up. Someday I’m gonna
find one in time and have some fun.
I’m not necessarily saying that the old days were all that
for a neighbor to get off the phone just so you could make a
phone call on a party line was a real drag, unless they had
something interesting ya wanted to listen to [if ya don’t
understand that one, ask somebody older].
seem to have a hell of a lot more money than I used to have,
and I seem to get more for my wages than I used to. But why does it seem
that we had to lose a little of ourselves in exchange for
this improved standard of living?
grew up in a time when my parents never had to worry if I
didn’t come home promptly at dusk. Hide and seek is a lot more fun played after dark....so
is Trick or Treating on Halloween.
I screwed up at school I got my butt beat, and if I told my
dad about it, I’d get it beat again! Needless to say I
tried not to screw up.
I noticed that a neighbor was unloading groceries, I’d
consider it my duty as a kid to help, and ya didn’t let
any adult see ya doin’ something wrong ‘cause any one of
‘em would call ya on it whether it was yer parent or not.
my neighborhood there was a whole bunch of kids and there
was always football, baseball or something else to do. If I made the
mistake of tellin’ my mother I was bored, I’d be rakin’
the leaves, or shovelin’ snow or pickin’ up those damned
apples that fell from the trees in the yard. Now kids get paid to
do stuff like that [teachin’ a lot about capitalism and a
lot more about what they have to contribute to the family].
used to walk to school each day. If I lived farther
away, I’d ride a bus, but I’d never expect my mom to
drive me! I
guess now it makes sense because there’s so many weirdos
out there, but then it was unheard of.
Man! I’m not just
ramblin’, I’m sounding even older than I feel! Next I’ll be sayin’
the snow was up to my waist [Come to think of it, sometimes
it was! I was a
short little dude back then].
guess the point of all this is that I’m kinda disappointed
that of all the wonderful things that technology could have
done for us, the most that can be said for the average
person is we get to talk on our phones more, sit on our
couches more and have more time to worry about what others
do and say.
I gotta go for now. The
damn phone’s ringin’ again.
Live long and prosper,
[TOP OF PAGE]
so and so there?”
out back butcherin’ the hog and I’d leave him alone if I
were you ‘cause he really gets into it.”
it’s a guy callin’ for a woman the possibilities would
be endless, and since this is kind of a G-Rated column we
won’t go there.
don’t know why I’m so against technology. I’m not a stupid
man, but everytime I get something new to hook up I have to
read the damned instructions at least twice. When I was younger I
couldn’t wait for people to invent all the wonderful
things that were imagined in science fiction books and
movies. On TV I
thought Star Trek was the bomb!
from a time when you had to kick a motorcycle to start it. And they actually
had carborators that used leaded gas. They had points and
you had to adjust them and the valves every now and then. This was all before
rubber mounted engines and if ya didn’t tighten yer nuts
and bolts often, they fell off. Bikes were
maintenance machines and ya kinda had to know what you were
doin’ to ride one.
I get older, I get lazier and I guess the old days are just
as well left in the past. VCRs, microwaves, CDs, DVDs, camcorders, remote controls
and all the other gadgets do make life easier and more
interesting in some ways, but why are there still so many
hungry people? And
although great strides have taken place in medicine, why do
so many still suffer?
remember when the phrase politically incorrect had yet to be
invented and people did and said what they wanted without
worrying about people taking offense. To offend someone
you had to get personal, and isn’t that the way it’s supposed
are so many things that we used to do everyday on a regular
basis that are actually illegal now. Some deserve to be
illegal [like littering], but some [like smoking tobacco]
have been turned into criminal offenses. I mean, I never
thought smoking TOBACCO would be against the law!