ward and you’re upsetting the patients!!”
“We’re lookin’ for the children’s ward!”
“Well you’re on the wrong floor! You want the 5th
By this time wackos were comin’ out of all the rooms
and screaming their poor demented hearts out! We ran back to
the elevator and prayed that the doors closed before someone
beat us to death with a bedpan!
We finally reached the correct floor and I got off first
just to make sure. I walked up to the desk and a little kid
was standing there in his jammies.
“You look just like Santa Claus!”
“That’s ‘cause I AM Santa Claus!”
“Yeah, right! And I’m the Easter Bunny!”
“No, THAT’S the Easter Bunny.” And as I pointed to
Annie the poor kid lost it! He started convulsing and threw
up all over Annie from five feet away! Never seen somebody
puke with such power before! And such volume from a little
kid!! That little dude was sure to grow up to be a biker!
Now, this nurse WAS expecting us and helped Annie clean
up before she took us into the ward and everything got back
When we got back on the elevator Annie says,’Bum, this
costume is hot! And now it stinks! Let’s go get a drink
and cool off before we hit the next hospital, ok?” So we
headed to The Keg for a cold one.
Soon as we got inside an old drunk fell off his stool,
got up and wobbled out the front door babbling something
about giant pink bunnies.
After we sit down I hear, “Bum, I can’t unstick this
zipper and the head won’t come off ‘cause it’s tucked
way down inside!” I messed with it a bit and got it down
just enough so she could drink her drink then we started to
“I shouldn’t have done that!”
“Have that double Jack on the rocks....I forgot I’m
on meds and I’m really startin’ to feel it!”
“Maybe I should take ya home.”
“No, let’s just go to the hoshpital.”
“Hoshpital? Annie I think we should go home!”