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Shootin’ the Breeze

by Bummer

abatebummer@aol.com

Well, here we are....April already and any day now those of you that haven't already started will be hittin’ the road
and ridin’ in the wind. When ya do, make sure you remember that the roads are full of everything from leftover winter
road salt to cage drivers not used to seein’ scoots on the road....a very dangerous time of year for us, dontcha think?

A few months ago I asked ya’ll to reply to a poll on what ya might carry in yer bags to a weekend event. From our thousands of members, I received 4, [that’s right FOUR] replies....One was from a couple, so that means 5, [that’s
right FIVE] people took the time to respond.

Well, golly gee!!! That sure gave me a reality check! I thought for sure one day I would get a Pulitzer for my journalistic ability. Maybe even a book
deal from a major publishing company!
Now I find out that there’s only 5, [that’s right FIVE] people out there reading and enjoying my labor.....Oh well, what the
Hell...It’s been said ya really shouldn’t be in ABATE for the glory, so for those 5, [that’s right FIVE] of you out there, here’s this months offering of blood from my heart and fingers [the rest of ya feelin’ guilty yet?].......

I once knew a couple named Dave and Trisha. They both worked and looked forward each week to gettin’ on their scoots and hittin’ the road.

One Saturday morning they phoned me and asked if I wanted to cruise up North to Lake Erie. “Sure, why not?” I
replied. “How long we stayin’?”

“Just for the afternoon.”

So I grabbed my leathers and loaded my bags.

A little later they pulled in the drive as i stood in the garage, and I couldn't believe my eyes! Dave painted his bike pink. Not kinda pink! I’m talkin’ Pepto by God Bismol pink! As they shut down and approached me, I just kept lookin’ at Dave’s scoot and smiling.

[Next Column]

“That’s a 90, right? I’m building one just like it. ‘Course, it’s not pink...Ha ha.”

“No, it’s a 78.”

“But it’s an Evo!”

“IT’S NOT PINK!!!!!” yelled Dave.

That’s when Dave stood up and towered over the guy with a menacing look. The poor guy still hadn’t figured out what the Hell was goin’ on. Now, it’s my firm belief that until ya know the other guy ain’t packin’ a gun, discretion is the better part of valor, so I let the air out of the situation by crackin’ a joke and calmin’ Dave down while the other guy left us with confusion written all over his face. Before we left I saw Dave whispering to Trish, but didn’t pay no mind “till we walked to our bikes and noticed him gettin’ on Trish’s bike. Her and I just smiled at each other as we rode home.

The next time I saw Dave’s bike it was painted black. Now those of you who know me, or have been reading this column for a while know i drive a, well, raspberry car.I inherited it from an ex wife. The main problem with it is the damn thing runs so well, is way paid off,looks relatively new, runs on nothin’ and has over 100,000 miles on it. It also is a fact that ya really shouldnt change the color of a
car unless ya absolutely have to, ‘cause of door jambs, inside the trunk under the hood, etc. But a bike is a different thing.
Ask Dave.

Bummer

“What’s so funny?” he said with a scowl on his face.
“Nothin’. How ya doin’ Trish?” Ya see, she was smilin’ too.
“Good Bum. How ya like Dave’s new paint job? Isn’t it cute?”

“Very cute. In fact it’s probably about the cutest Harley I’ve ever seen. I really like what you’ve done with it...What color would you call that Dave?”

“IT’S NOT PINK!”

“I didn’t say it was..In fact I’d call it uh, well....What would YOU call it Trish?”

“Definately not pink...Maybe sort of a rose blush.”

“IT’S RASPBERRY!!!!”

“Calm down Dave! OK...It’s
raspberry....Did ya mix the paint yerself?”

“YES I DID, AND I USED THE RIGHT MIX TOO!” Now, Dave is a pretty big guy and I could see he was gettin’ kinda upset, so I urged us to hit the road.

Trish was ridin’ her black 78 Shovelhead and every time I looked at her she was lookin’ at me and smiling so much I thought she’d burst into laughter. Every time I looked at Dave and saw that huge dude sittin’ on that uh, raspberry 90 Evo I’d have to turn my head to keep him from seein’ me gigglin’!

Once we got to the lake we found a bar/restaurant, pulled into the lot, shut ‘em down and went inside. We had just finished ordering when a coupla bikers walked in and sat down at the bar. One walked up to Trish and said, ”Nice bike.”

“Thanks."

“New paint?

“No.”

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